Three Ways To Find Someone Who Loves Like You Do
When it comes to relationships we all tend to have a few items or qualities we want our partners to embody. Elements that will make us happy to experience and characteristics that allow us to feel safe, protected, cherished and loved. Qualities that let us know we are on the same team, in partnership, or in other words they love like you do.
When it comes to finding people who vibe and harmonize with what you have to offer it is essential you make your intentions clear. Saying you want and then acting in a way that reinforces something different is where most people go awry in their quest for love. To set you up to win, you need to start from a place of fierce clarity and intention.
Three Ways To Find Someone Who Loves Like You Do
1. Get clear on what exactly you are looking for.
If you can’t say what you are looking for out loud, or feel like you can’t be clear about your intentions right away PAY ATTENTION. An inability to be open, self-expressed and honest right away, is often a HUGE indication the person you are hanging with is likely not someone who you will have a long term solid and harmonious dynamic with. If you can’t be yourself right from the beginning that doesn’t bode well for your future courtship.
With this step in mind you must be super specific. General qualities will attract you a mishmash of all types of people. For example if one of your requirements is for your partner to exhibit “good family values” you could literally end up with anyone.
Consider, the standards or specifics of what good family values actually means will differ person to person based on their upbringing and life experience. Two people could state having good family values is really important but what that looks like will be unique to each person. Just because you put a general quality on your list doesn’t ensure you attract someone who has the same understanding or point of view about the value or quality. To be sure a future partner’s understanding/beliefs about the core values harmonize with yours, specific details are required.
Knowing this, take all the general qualities you first came up with and go a little deeper.
For each quality ask yourself:
What does ______ actually mean to me?
What does _____ look like, sound like and feel like?
What behaviours or actions would be present if this quality was also present?
2. Become what you are looking for.
All of those qualities you listed in question 1, those things you want from your partner, you need to become.
Lets say one of the top values you expect from a future partner is loyalty, to call that quality out in another you first must learn to become loyal to yourself- to your heart- to your integrity- to your self-love.
3. Have the courage to qualify people- right away.
Dating is a process to determine who is a fit and who is not. First dates are not a promise of life long partnership, they are an opportunity to discover whether there is POTENTIAL for future compatibility. In other words its a fabulous time to qualify your date and ask the clear, direct and honest questions that allow you to suss out if they are a match to what you actually are looking for and if you are a match to what they are looking for.
To build up the courage to speak your truth, be direct and upfront with a potential new partner, your self-love tank needs to be pretty healthy and full. One of the easiest ways to maintain a healthy self-love tank is by regularly engaging in activities, projects and relationships that feed you on a deep level and allow you to unleash the best version of you possible.
The elements of your life that bring you great joy, fulfillment and enjoyment are also the same qualities that give your character delicious flavor, richness and depth- qualities the person who loves like you will be keenly on the look out for.
The more aligned you are to the elements that make you uniquely you the more vibrant and bright you become. This vibrancy acts as a wonderful beacon to call the right people into your life. People who are more likely to love like you do and live a life that harmonizes with yours also maintain a strong and healthy relationship to their wellness rituals- which makes them incredibly interesting people to be around.
Wellness rituals include but certainly are not limited to:
– your daily success rituals
– your happiness habits
– your hobbies
– your areas of passion
– the ways in which you give back
– your health, wellness and spiritual practices
Being firm on maintaining the elements of your life that ensure you are at your best set you up to meet, connect and flourish with others who also maintain a high degree of self-awareness, self-respect and self-love.
If you are ready to take your relationships and self-love to a whole new level of amazingness I have a virtual group coaching classroom beginning at the end of July. If THIS is what you are looking for, hit me up, lets chat and make magic happen! xo
Looking for love in all the wrong places? I wrote a book for you- Sabotaged Love: The 12 Archetypes Keeping You From The Love You Want and if you are looking to thrive in life by living and leading with love, HIRE Me. Your heart will be so glad you did.
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