What A Loss Taught Me About Being A Winner
As some of you may know, this week held an incredible opportunity.
An opportunity to expand my greatness.
An opportunity to express my brilliance.
An opportunity to grow in heart, mind and spirit.
This week was the audition to win a spot to open for Marianne Williamson at her event tonight in Kelowna BC.
Making it through to the finals was a huge win in and of itself, and the evening of the audition proved to hold major wins- even if it wasn’t the win I was intending.
Losing has never really gone over too well in my mind and heart. In the past and still to this day I place extraordinary intensity on showing up and doing my best. When I feel I have done my best, the inner critic seems to take a break, but those times when I don’t feel I have done the best it can kick into high gear. So this experience of seeing “loss” through a new lens proved incredibly valuable to me and hopefully for you too.
What A Loss Taught Me About Being A Winner
I came to learn that night that being a winner has nothing to do with the actual acquisition of the result, it has more to do with the attitude before, during and after. These three profound lessons have lead me to a greater understanding of the essence of being a winner regardless of the outcome:
1. What The Pre-Pre-Game Looks Like
A circumstance with my partner the day of the event left me feeling rattled and blocked from my flow. In the moments of it happening I heard my intuition whisper “now is not the time” and yet I still engaged the emotionally charged conversation. A sense of “oh I got this, I can handle it” overshadowed the voice of intuition and it turned messy fast.
In that experience I gained a profound awareness of where I still get tripped up and take myself out of the game and that certain topics of conversation are simply off limits for optimal pre-game focus. I also recognized this circumstance could have been used to blame my partner for the outcome of the evening- something I certainly would have done in the past, and this time it was different.
While I certainly felt the temptation to blame him and make it his fault, sometime bigger emerged through me. Compassionate understanding, forgiveness and PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY for engaging in the conversation in the first place. No one forced me to talk about a topic I knew would ruffle the internal feathers of us both. I chose to participate and engage. The beauty of this experience was seeing there was no one to blame in all honesty. I made a choice, a choice that had an adverse impact on my state of mind. To see his innocence and my own, that there was no blame to be had was in my opinion the main reason why this experience manifested in my life.
2. Optimal Pre-Game Rituals
The event itself was beautiful, gorgeous venue, wonderful people but being in a funky mental and emotional space I found it challenging to ground and find my natural groove. I have never had a speaking gig where I wasn’t in flow. This was a first. And it was so good (in retrospect) to experience. The miracle of this situation was a profound awareness of the importance of self-care rituals before hand and doing what I actually need for me to be in the zone (having alone time). While it was great to be in the buzz of the audience, the intensity of the energy left me feeling scattered. Simply taking some solo time away from the big crowd would have left me feeling grounded, clear and ready to rock it.
3. Making Aligned Choices To Serve The Highest Good Of All Involved
My topic was intense. Giving a talk on a topic that many people have pretty sharp and intense opinions on is totally awesome, and sometimes its not something that can be delivered effectively on a short time line. I’m all about sparking the conversation that many aren’t having and introducing a new love-filled perspective, however, a 10 minute talk is not likely the best timeline to try and do that on.
Through the experience of feeling like I was fumbling through my talk, being totally in my head, losing my train of intention I was gifted with the awareness that some topics just need more time, if they are to be delivered, navigated and unpacked properly, in order to serve the ultimate highest good of the room.
Learning this inspired a fabulous conversation with my partner post-event about selecting different topics that are successful deliverables according to the time allotted for the speaking gig. We came up with topics for talks that I could powerfully deliver in 10 minutes, 20 minutes, 45 minutes, 60 minutes and 90 minutes. All different, unique and inspiring for me to deliver AND because they align with their allotted time slot I can relax and trust that I will be able to adequately deliver talks that not only are thought provoking, soul stirring and authentic but also honour and respect the context of the audience and their availability to invest emotionally, mentally and spiritually with the message. In other words I have designed multiple unique talks that allow me to be responsible for the highest degree of success and service to the audience in which I am blessed to speak with.
So while I didn’t win the contest the intention behind the event (love and miracles) truly surfaced in my life- which is the greatest win I could have ever asked for. I was able to experience the arguable contrasting situations through a lens of new possibilities, higher learning, expanded growth and heightened personal awareness. A perspective that offered a new expansive experience about the event and my participation in it. A perspective rooted in love, that was the vehicle for the emergence of three extraordinary miracles.
“The miracle arises in your experience about your experiences- For when the experience of your experiences is deeply rooted in love, the miracle emerges.“
~Delivered by Marianne Williamson based on ACIM
If you need a little support in the love, self-love or relationship department feel free to reach out and I can certainly hook you up with additional tools, resources or direct 1-1 time with me to navigate these waters.
Looking for love in all the wrong places? I wrote a book for you- Sabotaged Love: The 12 Archetypes Keeping You From The Love You Want and if you are looking to thrive in life by living and leading with love, HIRE Me. Your heart will be so glad you did.
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