Kelsey Grant | What You Need To Give Up NOW To Be Happy
Self-care, Sisterhood, Love, Relationships, Conscious coupling, Happiness, joy, confidence, self-confidence, self-love, radical self love, Kelsey Grant, Sabotaged Love, Coaching, Forgiveness, Compassion, Spirituality, Spirit Junkie, Love, Relationships, Drama, Friendships, Wellbeing, Wellness, Success, Co-depence, Interdependence, Dating Advice, Marriage counciling, divorce, breakup to breakthrough,

What You Need To Give Up NOW To Be Happy


What You Need To Give Up NOW To Be Happy

Posted by radicalselflove in Relationships, RSL Communication, Self Love 101, Spirituality 11 Mar 2015

How can I be happier? How can I stop being so resentful? How can I move forward powerfully? How can I heal? How can I be more positive?


These recent questions have been swirling around communities I am a part of and there is a simple  answer to them all. But first, there is something we must understand about the nature of happiness.


Authentic happiness requires sacrifice. It requires that we trade something of a lower nature in and exchange it for something of a higher nature- which by definition is the meaning of sacrifice.


This is where many humans get stuck, they want the happiness but are unwilling to give something up to create the space for its unfolding. But that is where we must focus if we truly wish to experience the freedom and expansion happiness allows us.


What we have to give up


If we actually desire to feel happiness we must be willing to give up our addiction to suffering, drama and talking about the shit that leaves us feeling like shit.


The more we painstakingly go over and over and over the details of what makes us mad, or sad, or frustrated, the deeper we anchor those experiences into our psyche. Repeated enough times our drama becomes a habitual thought pattern.


If you want to be happier- Change YOUR conversation.


Instead of talking about everything that pisses you off talk about everything that inspires you.


Instead of running through the drama of the social circle, have the courage to speak directly to those whom you share a difference of opinion and leave everyone else out of it.


Instead of focusing on everything that is going wrong, is going to go wrong and all that has ever gone wrong, focus on everything that is going right, everything that is going to go right in the future and all that has gone right in the past.


Instead of being a helpless victim of circumstance (life is happening to me mentality) become the powerful creator of your experience (life is happening for me mentality). This means actively choosing what you will and will not give your attention and intention to.


Changing Things Up


Happiness requires you to make choices that leave you feeling empowered MOMENT to MOMENT. When we begin asking the question of how to be happier we must first do some honest appraisal of the following, deep within our hearts. Consider,


Every time you gossip, talk smack about yourself or others in any capacity, you are trading your life-force energy for drama.


Every time you run loops of painful past experiences, or worries about the future through your mind, you are trading your life-force energy for suffering.


Every time you harbour resentment, hostility or aggression towards yourself or others you are trading your life-force energy for misery.


It is after sitting with these very realizations, it is you and only you, who can answer this lifechanging question:


Are you honestly willing to trade your precious life-force for anything but love?


Giving Up The Addiction


We are so damn addicted to our pain patterns and this pattern within the collective consciousness sucks our creativity, vitality and capacity to be great with each other.


Our addiction to drama, suffering and misery robs us of our ability to truly and honestly love one another. That’s a big price to pay to engage in ANY form of drama.


The only one who has the power to change this is you.


As you take your power back and consciously choose to exchange your life-force energy for anything that expands, evolves and inspires more love to emerge, you will find your levels of happiness growing exponentially.


The more we are willing to forgive ourselves, forgive others and remember who we are for each other, the more happiness we tend to experience.


The only thing we gain by holding onto suffering, drama, or misery is more of it. It doesn’t change the past, it doesn’t change other’s behaviour, it doesn’t generate freedom in any way, shape or form. Only love can do that, and forgiveness is the vehicle for the expression of this divine love and compassion to express itself fully in our human experience. Forgiveness is the revolutionary act of claiming that no one and no circumstance can rob you of your happiness, freedom and love.


The more we consume our attention with the intention of peace, the intention of cooperation, the intention of love- the more happiness we cultivate within, and the more happiness we cause in the world around us.


Happiness is your birthright and all it takes to access it are simple shifts in perception, attention and intention.


  • Talk about your joys.
  • Talk about your wins.
  • Talk about your passions.
  • Talk about your dreams.


Be responsible for rippling out goodness with every word you speak. Before defaulting to reactions rooted in pain patterns, stop, take a deep breath and ask yourself the following:


“Is what I am about to do or say going to cast a ripple of love or a ripple of pain?”


“What type of impact do I want to leave on this world? One of suffering or one of love?”


“If someone else was to do this to me or say this to me how would I be left feeling?”


“Will my actions inspire positive transformation or anchor in shame, guilt or fear?”


Then, only after taking some time and space to reflect choose to act. When you act or speak from a place of compassion, forgiveness and love you leave the situation feeling free and happy. Which is always the point. We’ll be covering this in extensive detail in my next group coaching classroom starting March 30th. More details on that can be found HERE.


Be the cause of more happiness and joy. Lead with Love. The world will thank you.


Looking for love in all the wrong places? I wrote a book for you- Sabotaged Love: The 12 Archetypes Keeping You From The Love You Want and if you are looking to thrive in life by living and leading with love, HIRE Me. Your heart will be so glad you did.